take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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