just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
