Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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