When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize