Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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