I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize