I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I didn't notice because vodka
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
