On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
