Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
