Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
im on a boat
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