it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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