let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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