yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
