I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
