i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
