I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
