those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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