Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
