Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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