I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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