Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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