I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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