Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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