Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
