I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
