im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize