we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Randomize