If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
