bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
