ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
