I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
