Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
