Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
