I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize