i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
