i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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