This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
