I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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