So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
