If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
birth control should be required to get into college
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
