You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
