Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
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It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
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Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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