White coat. Heels.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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