I want you more than these girls want KFC
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize