I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
