Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Everclear isn't food dammit
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
