Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
