five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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