No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
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New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
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She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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