He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
