Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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