no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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