I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
