we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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