We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
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There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
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Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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