i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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