Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
