hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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