another moral hangover. fuck.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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