So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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